deviant ART

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Checking up and Apologies

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 11, 2007, 4:07 PM
:star::star:[Currently on Hiatus. Read for more infortmation.]:star::star:
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--> [ Who Is Ronnie Day?] <--
Check out the above artist! I've managed to hook a bunch of my friends (~fadingtwilight0 the most severely. :p) onto his amazing work, maybe you can join the ranks? Beautiful and real music; I recently saw him live and I've fallen in love with him and the music all over again. You won't regret listening to him!

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Hello everyone. I wanted to just make a very quick appearance, and I just wanted to say a few things. It's kinda lengthy, so skip it if you want. :)

:bulletblue:First off, Apologies
Okay, I kind of made a mistake. Awhile ago, back in the end of Nov. and beginning of Dec., I signed up for something that probably was not the brightest idea I‘ve had. Details are below. But I feel very bad about not being able to keep up with the promise I made for the thing I signed up to do. However, once I get back up on my feet, I promise I'll finish up the picture and post it as fast as I can. If they see this/know what I'm talking about, I apologize for this, honestly. I feel bad.
~Celsa about your contest.. Yeah, not gonna happen. I have it mostly finished, but the details aren't there. Later on, I might finish it just for the hell of it, especially considering I was about 90% done. Really sorry about that.
And anyone else who I promised something to, involving art, Sorry. Remind me what it is, and once I get back up on my feet, I'll try to get it done for you. Just send me a reminder of a sort please. I’m rather forgetful lately.

:bulletblue:Setbacks and Letdowns
I thought I'd just give an update and everything, considering all of you have been very supportive of me, and the words and ideas you offered me once I told everyone what was going on made me feel so much better and cheered me up considerably. Anyway, I had a little bit of a setback. Well, not little. For the first apology I made, it was because at the time, I was actually getting better. Kinda. Slowly, but I was. Pain disappearing, ability coming back, blah blah. Which is why I agreed to join this project/contest/thing, because at the time I believe that by the time the deadline came around, I’d be up and running again. But... crash and burn. Within two weeks of signing up, I had a severe flair-up and was right back where I started, although I still thought that I'd be able to get it done, which, obviously, didn't happen. It kinda got me down for awhile, as it always does, when you think it's done, then you just crash again. But hey, that's the way it works. Just gotta wait for it to disappear again. :) Give it some time..
I'm slowly working my way back up. I'll get back up there. Someday. I've mostly been concentrating on my current art class, and keeping on top of it, which is more then enough for me. The flair up slowed me down a lot, and I'm kinda scrambling to get things done in time. So.. This might take even longer then I thought it would be.
My reasons still stand as before, for not being on the site and everything. I haven’t been on very often, sorry about that. Every now and then, I do check up on the site, but not very often.

:bulletblue: Miscellaneous!
Just thought I'd mention--Guess who's birthday is coming up this Saturday? January 13th. Pretty excited about this year's birthday, it should be great. Completely random, but.. um.. yeah. :p Yay birthdays! Anyone else have a birthday in January?


Anyway, there you have it. Mostly, this was to apologize about not completeing my promises. I never would have promised anything if I knew this would happen. It was a bad idea on my part. And it made me miserable to realize I wasn't going to be able to do what I said. Hopefully, you'll understand, and I promise once I get the ability back, I'll finish everything as soon as possible!

And if you’re still reading, either you have way to much free time, or you are amazing. :heart: So, enough of my ramblings, how are all of you?


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(Links for You)
:bulletred:[Prevent Pain - Please help support those with RND; a painful chronic disease. Help us beat this 'invisible illness' and buy a wristband!
:bulletred:[Annon!] - <3 ~Celsa Go to her page and watch her! She's amazing!
:bulletred:[There is Time to Smile - Kakia and Kasumi] - *AllendisI Watch her. Now.
:bulletred:[Just One of Those Moments]- One of ~fadingtwilight0's. :D Who is awesome. Watch her. :3
:bulletred:[Suggstion List From Hell] .. And yes, I do realize that is was I who created that list from hell. Shut up.
:bulletred:[Tutorial Web] .. like.. a dark alley for tutorial-addicts.
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Ladies and Gents, Please Read -- EDIT

Journal Entry: Fri Oct 27, 2006, 8:29 PM
________:::EDIT:::________

Alright, quick update everyone. I've got something to ask all of you. I came across this site. They're raising money for the problem that I have, RND. They're bracelets with the inscription 'Prevent Pain' on it, and the money goes towards research for the RND. I'd really really appriciate it if you guys would get one of these, or even spread the link around and ask people to buy one. This is the reason why my hands don't work all of the time and all; the whole reason I went on hitatus. It'd be helping me and so many others.

Oh yeah, *letsdothetimewarp says that "Everytime you see this link and don't buy a bracelet, God kills a kitten."
Now, Do you want to be a kitten killer?

Seriously though, this would mean a lot if you'd order one or something. order one for a friend! Spread the word. If you can't get one, maybe you can just post this link in your journal or something. Please. Much :heart: to all of you!

The Site > [link]

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Paper bags and plastic hearts / All are belongings in shopping carts / It's goodbye / But we got one more night / Lets get drunk and drive around / And make peace with this empty town / We can make it right
Throw it away / Forget yesterday / Well make the great escape / We wont hear a word they say / They dont know us anyway / Watch it burn / Let it die / Cause we are finally free tonight
--The Great Escape, Boys Like Girls
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Yeah, obsessed with this song and band. So romantic. I am a hopeless romantic. Check 'em out [Boys Like Girls].


But okay, listen up ladies and gents.


I'm going on a hiatus, an official one. I do not know how long this will last, so it's really just up in the air right now. This will affect my posting of artwork, and will affect the amount of time I spent on this site and comment.

As my long time watchers might have noticed, I haven't posted something personal since March. Everything after that was part of a school project, or I had stated I wasn't exactly proud of it. I stopped updating in general back in May, then burned down my gallery in the end of July.

For a long time, a year and a half, life has been very chaotic. A lot of health problems have been popping back up again, and have been severely cutting my time down, my ability for certain things, and a lot of my inspiration. The problem has also managed to travel to my arms and hands. Basically, it's a full body issue right now, and very unpredictable. My art took a dive in the summer, and towards the end I stopped drawing, because of this problem. What it does is cause severe pain in my hands or arms. My hands will shake if I try to hold something right, shudder at random, or just tremble in general. It might hurt to bend my fingers, or they might not bend at all. Pain will enter my wrist, my fingers, my shoulder.. as you can see, it's amazingly unpredictable and I have no idea what I will wake up to each day.

Right now, my only art consists of doing projects for the art class I'm taking right now. And even then I almost dread the class, because I know my skill level and I can't do that anymore. The problem with my hands is very painful and makes drawing more of a dreaded thing, rather then something I do for relaxing.

This is why I'm going on hiatus, officially anyway. I have stopped drawing for myself, it's not something that makes me happy anymore, but makes me more upset. Just reminds me of something else I can't do as well anymore, so it's not as pleasurable. Earlier on, I was able to handle it better, and just worked on my 'better' days, but they don't exist much anymore so.. yes. Only rarely will I pick something up, but it's only rough drawing or concepts, as my hands cannot handle finer points like inking or coloring.

DA is friggin' awesome, but I can't handle it right now. So I won't be as active anymore. I will still come on and comment, every now and then, but otherwise, I need a break. My main focus is school right now, as last year was a disaster due to outside problems.

Art has actually become a mini-hell. Suffering Artist indeed. I think right now I just need to back up, and try to figure this all out. Art had become my escape before, after the problem started up in my legs, but after this summer, it just got snatched away from me and I'm not sure what to do now. Art became a really big part of me, and without it I'm just at a lost. It's not like I don't plan to never draw ever again, I am not giving up art after everything that I have done and gone through. But right now.. eh. I dunno.

My inspiration has died because of all of this. I don't want to draw because I know that I can't do what I used to do. If anyone has every had this happen to them, then they understand why it hurts so much. Imagine if you couldn't draw anymore without so much pain it's not even worth it. Or if your hands start to shake uncontrollably and stop you from doing what you love. Doesn't sound very pretty does it.

This is all incredibly vague, I know, but hopefully you all catch my drift.

And guys, I'm not fishing for anything. This is all real and it is happening to me right now. This is my personal hell that I am still trying to understand for the past few months. I'm upset and incredibly angry and hurt at what happened, it just added salt to the wound that started up after I was diagnosed with my problem almost two years ago, and after going through hell twice to try and get rid of it. Like kicking me when I was down. Like my body decided to turn against me. I am not looking for pity or anything like that.

As a heads up, this isn't contageous, or gonna kill me or anything. I won't suddenly die or go deathly ill from this, it just messes around with reflexes and stuff

The tutorial list will still be updated every now and then as I find time to do it. I will still comment, but not as much. I'm not giving up, I'm just trying to find a way adapt to what happened and where I stand right now. :d I don't give up that easily.

:heart: If you managed to read all of that, and possibly understand it as I know I jumped around a hell of a lot, then props to you. Please remember I'm not fishing, I'm just getting this off my chest. Horary for long rants!

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(Links for You)
:bulletred:[Annon!] - <3 ~Celsa Go to her page and watch her! She's amazing!
:bulletred: [There is Time to Smile - Kakia and Kasumi] - *AllendisI Watch her. Now.
:bulletred:[Suggstion List From Hell] .. And yes, I do realize that is was I who created that list from hell. Shut up.
:bulletred:[Tutorial Web] .. like.. a dark alley for tutorial-addicts.
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I want to turn the whole thing upside down..

Journal Entry: Mon Aug 7, 2006, 9:23 PM
Who's to say / what's impossible Well they forgot /This world keeps spinning And with each new day / I can feel a change in everything / And as the surface breaks reflections fade / But in some ways they remain the same / And as my mind begins to spread its wings There's no stopping curiosity

I want to turn the whole thing upside down / I'll find the things they say just can't be found / I'll share this love I find with everyone / We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs / I don't want this feeling to go away
--Upside Down, Jack Johnson
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Busy lately: family emergency. Everything is calming down again for the most part, but we're still working on getting back to normal. On the bright side, my brother's birthday is coming up! Much :heart: to him.

EDIT :: Oh, and that video that they put up for the V.5? Good idea. But I couldn't help snickering to myself through the beginning part with the whole Five Times The ".....". I felt like I was watching one of those "BUY NOW" upgrade things. XD; All in all, the new layout is good, but not at the same time. Easier.. but.. not. XD; Ah well, might as well get used to it. It's a love hate relationship right now with more love then hate.

.............................................................................................................


Now for the real reason I made this entry.

As some of you have noticed, my gallery has disappeared. No, it wasn't hacked/DA's fault/insanity. I did it myself, when I was sane. And yes, I do know that there is one scrap left. It's the picture of Jingles, but I couldn't bring myself to delete it. And so it stays.

Just thought I'd clear that up. :]

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(Links for You)
:bulletred:[Annon!] - <3 *Celsa (Go to her page and watch her! She's amazing!)
:bulletred:[Suggstion List From Hell] .. And yes, I do realize that is was I who created that list from hell. Shut up.
:bulletred:[Tutorial Web] .. like.. a dark alley for tutorial-addicts.
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I take ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

Journal Entry: Thu Jun 22, 2006, 12:31 AM
I'm bouncin' off the walls again / And I'm lookin' like a fool again / I threw away my reputation / One more song for the radio nation
I'm bouncing off the walls again / And I'm looking like a fool again / So go ahead and take a picture / And hang it up so you can tear me down
-- Bouncin' Off the Walls Again, Sugarcult
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.. Or maybe I take them to control severe pain. Take your pick.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy. [Damn, how did you all find out? :|]


Betcha that title made you stop for a moment, am I right?

Normally I wouldn't copy this. But I think its a good message. Normally, as most of you all know, I wouldn't ask you to re-post it. But if you think you'd be willing to even possibly post it.. do it. Spread the message. I think it'd be a good thing to do. So.. read along everyone. Gotten from :~Tinlorio

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

-I'm WHITE, so I MUST be racist.

-I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

-I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

-I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

-I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm JAMICAN so I must smoke weed.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

-I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

-I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

-I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

-I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

-I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

-I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

-I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

-I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

-I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

-I dont like the SUN so I MUST be albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop judging others, then POST THIS! Pick the stereotype that fits you the most, and put it in the subject when you re-post this.

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(Links for You)
[Annon!] - <3 *Celsa (Go to her page and watch her! She's amazing!)
[Suggstion List From Hell] .. And yes, I do realize that is was I who created that list from hell. Shut up.
[Tutorial Web] .. like.. a dark alley for tutorial-addicts.
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(Reminders to Me--Requests/Ect.) --
:star-half: Blood Red Portrait [CP]
:star-half: Ace of Spades [CG]
:star-empty: Nameless [?]
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List from Hell

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 5, 2006, 3:16 PM
Figured that we could use an cleaner, neater list to refer to. We meaning ~fadingtwilight0 and myself. Cleaned List Chaos, Set-up play stolen from FT0.

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Bold* = Completed
#Numbers = Link to picture
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Countdown: 11/43
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001 || Draw a girl in complete old-school 80's clothing on the stairs

002 || Preppy guy--aka, furruba

003 || fanart of something that hardly anyone reads/watched.

004 || Grab your faveorite book of all time of the shelf and draw a screne from it

005 || Belle from Beauty and the Beast

006 || Ice Dancer. Must be in something -other- then white.

007 || Yourself--in your own style

008 || Think of any friends character and draw them in their complete opposite personality.. guaranteed to scare the hell out of whoever's character it is.

009 || Draw a rose. That's always fun and super original

010* || Do a comic strip of a funny conversation with a family member/friend

011* || Do a comic strip of something stupid that you did (or a friend/family member)

012* || Ask your parents/friend for a single word. Or a favorite quote. Then draw something off it.

013 || Draw a begger. We've got enough princesses

014 || Draw someone happy. We need more of those in the art world too

015* || Try doing something in portrit realism, not in anime. Practice for next semester, so you'll be prapered for that hell.

016 || Or do some landscape realism. You're going to need to be pretty kick-ass at that as well.

017 || Grab a crayon and draw a man/girl in some mecha type suit

018 || Grab an orange colored pencil and draw someone, but only draw the shadows.

019 || Or, do the same thing and then add in the highlight in yellow. But no definate lines allowed!

020 || Draw a romance picture

021 || Think of your closest friends and draw them. Garunteed to make them happy and yourself as well.

022 || Flip on the TV and punch in some random numbers on the remote without looking. See what it lands on and watch it.

023 || Think of a character of your own/or someone elses that you are very fond of and do a complete character sheet. I mean, facial expressions, turn arounds, gestures,general pose.. And, possible give them an update of an outfit. Hell, that might become their new one,

024* || Lay back on your bed, and look out the window with the sketchbook besides you, and a pencil in your hand. Have some candy nearbyLook outside for a bit, think, and then start sketching, but don't think about it. Just let it all flow.

025 || Martial arts, Assasin. Cool pose.

026 || Mecha. That's hellish.

027* || What's bothering you most at the moment? Draw something abstract/real to get it down. Doesn't have to make sense.

028 || Grab a black pen, a red pen, and a green pen if you can find one. grab some old homework papers. Start drawing on them. No erasing and no starting over.

029 || Little girl standing in a field playing with flowers. She's happy and throwing them in the air

030 || Classic window reflection picture

031 || Try to mimic one of your friends styles to see if you can do it.

032 || Tall dark shadow with complex chains and leather bonds. Wiry background with roman numerals.

033 || 'Can't you hear my heart beat so, I want you in my life'.

034 || Draw a little girl playing on a piano bench, playing with the keys with an older version of her standing behind.. all.. remembering. Sad or happy is good.

035 || Do a poster/cover for Twilight.

036 || Do a little boy and a little girl playing together. Should be cute.

037 || Here's something emo. Teenager cutting themselves. Or standing on the edge of a building, ready to jump with tears running down their face.

038 || Standing on the edge of a cliff, arms spread wide, Titanic style. Dramatic wind in a box.

039 || Or maybe just do a remake of that Titanic-ness with your own charcters.

040* || Girl with a guy behind her, either kissing/face buried in her neck.

041 || Ballerina. Either stretching, or in the midst of a dance.

042* || Mid-Eastern dancer or a Gypsy. Put in details that you normally don't.

043 || Draw a character (friends or your own) doing DDR.